2009-06-24T10:02:00.002-07:00

Maturity is Redrum has returneth as Trailer Home Art. Yes, rejoice and be glad. I insist.

GREETINGS LOYAL FOLLOWERS

It has been a loooooooooooooooooooooong year or so since my last comic. I give you my sincerest apologies. But I take no blame because I'm a perfect motherfucker.

If you must know the reason for my absence, you may ask my lovely retail manager who apparently assumes that an individual who wants to work part-time, really actually wants to work just 5 hours shy of a 40-hour shift week, so they may toil and sweat almost as much blood as a full-timer and get shit-squat-nada benefits. Of course, I soon realized after five months that no petty retail store that caters to the unique fashion tastes of 90% of the teenage population is worth my time. So I cut my hours.

Alas, the gods were frustrated that a lowly mortal as myself could be so kick ass and hilarious, so to prevent my gracing the world of my comedic healing power, I was forcibly enrolled into a cinema class from hell. But that's another story. I'd tell you but I don't want some wrinkly oversized pathetic dragon getting any publicity on the holiest of holy blogs. Because any publicity, is good publicity. Especially for an attention-seeking dragon whore.

Some renovations shall be made. For example, I trashed those disgusting emo-esque blogs for good. A teenager should never be allowed in a blog. In fact, when I am President (of the Universe) my first act will be to refuse anyone under the age of 18 the opportunity to write their own blog. Right after I outlaw the dressing of Chihuahuas in shitty outfits that neither they, nor everyone else sans the owner, would frankly care to see. Oh, and to send Miley Cyrus to 7th circle of hell, because I love the smell of fresh tween tears. They are almost as magical as those of a gypsies.

So with that, I leave, yet again. But not for long my fellow minions. I shall return with great haste to deliver a plethora of endorphins. Hah, I like using big words. Like that retard from So You Think You Can Dance?, the one who has to say a big word at least every other word to show the world that Obama isn't the only intellectual black person. Although he's half-black. Too soon? I don't give a shit. I just ran out of Cherry Starbursts and I'm ready to piss off some people.

PS. Am I the only one who thinks the new laptop trackpad by Apple is a total piece of shit? OH WOW IT'S ONE GIANT BUTTON, PLEASE TAKE A HUGE DUMP ON MY FACE STEVE JOBS, PEASE OH PLEASE.

end.

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